Ok..I've made progress with alittle help from my host..
Now..I connected to database but I got a message that my config file had to be uploaded. I had them send it to me..I manually uploaded.
I went back to the install..
this time I get this error:
An error has occurred during installation
An error occurred trying to update the database
Table 'phpbb_auth_access' already exists
When I try to go back and do it as an "upgrade" then..
It just sends me back to the first page.
I even reuploaded the config.php file just to be sure
I am getting very frustrated!