Alright so I moved into college several weeks ago and I love it! It's been a lot of fun and I've met a lot of great people. Unfortunately, my roommate is not one of them. He is from Columbia and does not speak English very well, but he can have a perfectly fine conversation, just not with very advanced language. He's a very friendly person, but I have realized that I simply cannot deal with living with him anymore.
When we first signed up for housing/roommates, we were asked to fill out the following simple questions (my answers are included):
Smoking or non: Non
Morning or Night person: morning
Partying or non: non
I also requested the schools "substance-free" housing, which is one side of one floor in the building (it's very small!). Now let me begin with the stories of my roommate.
The first few nights, he didn't come back earlier than 6AM. He was drunk/hungover, and loud. He talks on his phone SO loud, he doesn't get that the people on the other end can hear him just fine with his regular talking voice. He plays his music louder than actually comfortable to listen to. It's this messed up Latin techno music and I can (no exaggeration), hear it from a block away. The whole dorm has complained about it to ME! Two days ago, he locked me out of the room (physical door lock, so my key card wouldn't open it), because he was having sex with a girl in our room. When I knocked loudly, he didn't open the door or even respond. He smoked cigars and pipes frequently, he parties all the time. Last night, he brought a friend back to the room at 3:30AM and the kid slept over. They were laughing and talking for 30 mins straight, this was all while I was trying to sleep. He picks up his phone in the middle of the night no matter what time it is because he always leaves his phone on high volume. He always asks to borrow my stuff like quarters for laundry, hangers, detergent, paper, fabric softener. He takes up more than half of the already TINY room.
I understand that partying and drinking is a big part of the college life, but someone who REQUESTS substance free wellness should not be behaving like this. It's unfair to me and others on the floor. The problem is, he just tries to be so friendly and buddy buddy with me when it's so obvious what he's doing is unacceptable. This is why I feel bad confronting him; not to mention, I am just a huge pushover and it's hard for me to speak up when something bothers me. But it's been taking away my sleep, my energy, my work, and my happiness.
I am seriously considering sending an email to the RA telling him how much this is bothering me; I don't want him in trouble for getting drunk or whatever, I just want him to find a new home. I absolutely do not want to move out while he keeps the room because I have followed the "wellness" rules and everything. I should not be the one to have to go. But I know it will be SO awkward with him if I talk to the RA because then he will know it was me and he will no doubt be confused because he thinks we're friendly with each other. I know it's easy enough to suggest that I just talk to him, but I can't. I've tried and he kind of just looks at me and nods and then keeps doing it. I have been so fakely nice to him and I can't deal with it anymore... I have subtly hinted that some of the other dorms are wayy bigger and they have vacancies available and stuff but he always just says "yes, thats cool. i love the view from our window."
I want Freshman year to be fun, and it has been - but I feel like he has completely invaded my personal space and I don't want him in trouble, I just don't want to live with him anymore. Does anyone have any advice?