IIRC a similar topic was started years ago (but I can't find it)
Probably around 6 years old. The language IIRC was Abacus.
Seriously, The first "computer" language I learned was Fortran (age around 18 or 19).
Next was DOS edlin: not really a programming language but computers had very limited memory and processing power so it was interesting to fool around with all the command items and create different startup configurations depending on what I needed.
The first real programming language I learned was Visual Basic (for applications) which I still use.
Professionally I used avenue to create GIS applications, later ArcGIS (Visual Basic).
Played around a bit with Python but the syntax didn't suit me.
And when I discovered phpBB, I tried to force myself to learn PHP. With phpBB 3.0 I did write a couple of simple mods for personal use, but again the syntax doesn't suit me (at all). Reading and understanding the current phpBB-code is sub-optimal (I'm being generous).